THE ADVENTURES OF CHOPPAMAN!
by THE EVIL TAKONO
Summary: Yes, our favorite superhero, the one, the only, the cute and cuddly, CHOPPERMAN! I DO NOT ONE PIECE; EIICHIRO ODA DOES!
1. CAST

**THE ADVENTURES OF CHOPPERMAN!!**

**CHOPPERMAN**-- Our hero, fighting for justice; Chopperman flies through the air with his Choppercape, and protects the peace of the world. His weapon is his cuteness. His special attack, Hissatsu Kyuun Spark, causes any enemy to become unable to fight. Any men that it doesnt affect, the violent anger of Chopperman Violence deserves a punch.

**NAMIFIA**--The Lovely Assistant; Namifia promptly manages all of Choppermans missions.

**USODABADA**--The Embodiment of Evil; In charge of the Evil Usodaba-dan army, he plans to take over the world. An evil scientists who creates evil mysterious men, monsters, robots, and the like.

**SANJIROPS**--The Perverted Monster; He insists that he isn't perverted, but he always thinks perverted things. He doesn't hold back against men.

**ZOROKILLER**--The Onigiri Man; He asks for onigiri, and if you dont have any, he gets mad and says "Carry some next time!"

**ROBIFLOWER**--The Flower Mystery Woman; An evil woman who has been beaten multiple times by Choppermans Hissatsu Kyuun Spark.

HAVE FUN!

JA NE!!

* * *

Please send in ideas for this. Its a one-story-per-chapter thing.


	2. The Last Piece of Chocolate

**THE ADVENTURES OF CHOPPERMAN!!**

_**The last bar of chocolate**_

_**Idea by snowy poppy flower**_

Here we are in the dark lair of the evil Usodabada. He is very furious because of last week, when Chopperman beat him in the wrestling ring. Plus, he lost the Rare Air Force-C Max.

"THAT BLASTED CHOPPERMAN ALWAYS FOILS MY PLANS!! WHY, I ASK YOU WHY?! I can see why he gets past YOU lazy pieces of crap!"

Then we see Sanjirops eating chocolate and Zorokiller eating onigiri.

"I'M TALKING TO YOU!!

"Huh?" Sanjirops turned around to see a mad Usodabada."LISTEN TO ME WHEN I AM TALKING TO YOU!! YOU TWO SHOULD BE FIRED FOR HOW LITTLE YOU WORK AROUND HERE!!"

"Tea."

"Hai Here You go!! NOT AGAIN!!" Usodabada throw a teapot on the ground. "That's the third time..."

"You must be pretty stupid, then." Sanjirops comented, still eating a CRUNCH bar. Usodabada eyed him, thinking a bit. "What are you eating, Sanjirops?"

"CRUNCH bar. Why?" He asked suspiciously. He was a little annoyed from hearing Zorokiller eat an onigiri in spicy mayo.

"No reason...just, a craving..." He smiled evilly. "Back off." Sanjirops continued eating.

"I DONT WANT YOURS!!" He calmed down a bit. "I'm going to rob the candy store of it's food. That's enough candy for 2 months!!"

"Whatever. Just dont steal my candy bar."

"I DONT WANT IT!! IT HAS MONSTER GERMS ON IT!! I'M NOT EATING IT!!" Sanjirops ignored him. "And don't you ever talk back to your all-knowing, all-powerful master." Zorokiller walked in. "If youre so all-knowing and all-powerful, how come you haven't beaten Chopperman yet?"

"You never do."

"Theyre right, Usodabada-sama. No offense, but an idea good enough to beat Chopperman is far to intelligent than what you could come up with."

"ROBIFLOWER-CHAN IS SO CUTE WHEN SHE'S INSULTING THE ALL-STUPID KUSO-SAMA!!" Sanjirops' cigarettes became smoke hearts, and his eyes became hearts, while he started swooning.

"Pssh...Erolops..."

"What did you say, Kuso-onigiri??"

"Who're you calling a Kuso-onigiri, you perverted Barney?"

"Are you comparing me to that stupid purple dinosaur, you salted, overgrown appetizer??"

"Maybe I AM, You CURLY-BROWED CHAIN SMOKING PERVERT!!"

"YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO INSULT ME, YOU RICE-HEADED, SEAWEED-COVERED, WALKING, TALKING SALT HEAD!!"

"OH SO NOW **YOU** CAN COMPARE **ME** TO THE **CONTENTS OF YOUR BRAIN?!?!**"

"**AT LEAST THAT MUCH WOULD BE MORE THAN THE CONTENTS IN _YOUR_ BRAIN!!**"

"_**YOU WOULDNT KNOW HOW BIG MY BRAIN IS! YOURS IS FILLED WITH HENTAI AND NICOTINE YOU SCALY RUBBER-BRAINED IDIOT!!**_"

"_**EVEN IF YOUR BRAIN WAS BIG, ITS COMPLETELY EMPTY, YOU BIG, EDIBLE, UNDERMUSCLED PIECE OF--**_"

"Will you two stop fighting?"

"HAAAAAAAAAAAI!!!!!!!!!" Sanjirops yelled. Usodabada was losing his patience. "I'm going to the candy store...FOLLOW ME MEN!! And...WOMAN!!" Usodabada marched proudly out of the lair. The monsters slowly followed him, all muttering "Aho-sama..."

* * *

And now we go to our favorite hero, he's cute, he's cuddly, and he's afraid of monsters, so give a big hug to-- 

"CHOPPERMAN!! How many times have I told you to stop eating Potato Chips in front of the TV??" Chopperman, of course wasn't listening. he was laughing at the TV, which had Pandaman singing Opera, while he forgot to wear nothing but Orange boxers with the words 'GO GO POWER RANGERS' on the back. Chopperman was laughing adorably to his hearts content. Namifia sighed. As cute as he is, he needs limits. Namifia grabbed the remote and turned off the TV. "Oi! Namifia! What was that for? I was watching comedy!!"

"Chopperman, you need to be more aware of your surroundings! Plus, remember what I said before? NOTHING is going on in the world! Without anything bad happening, there are no profits! If there aren't any profits, how can we afford ANYTHING??" Namifia grabbed the potato chips. "Even this greasy, oily junk food???"

"OI! I WANT POTATO CHIPS!!" Chopperman was reaching for the bag with his little hooves. Namifia kept the bag out of his reach. "I'm sorry! But you have to learn! If you can't keep your priorities straight, you have to do things differently!"

"Can I at least have some potato chi--"

"NO YOU CANT HAVE THE POTATO CHIPS!!!!!!!!" Namifia was frustrated, but she calmed down after seeing Chopperman tear up. "B-but I love potato chips..." Namifia sighed. She then remembered something--Last week, her promise to Chopperman. _If you finish all of those in one day..._ "OH YES!! Chopperman, I have a little surprise for you..."

"BARBEQUE POTATO CHIPS?!"

"Better."

"SOUR CREAM AND ONION?!?!?!" His eyes were full of stars.

"BETTER!!" Namifia reached into her purse and took out...

"_**THE RARE AIR FORCE-C MAX MODEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_" Chopperman's excitement made him jump for joy all around Namifia. She smiled. "HOW DID YOU GET IT?!?!"

"I have my ways..." She winked at Chopperman. Chopperman giggled so hard, and started twirling around singing _Air Force-C Max, Air Force-C Max..._ over and over again. As Chopperman was celebrating to himself, Namifia turned on the TV and changed the channel, until she saw the news. "I wonder if anything's going on in the world..." She stopped at the news only to see...

"AHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!! To all you viewers, once again, HOWDY!!"

"USODABADA!!" Chopperman stopped, and listened. "Usodabada??"

"OUT OF MY WAY! Yes, it is I, the great, the powerful, and the all-knowing USODABADA!!!!! And my minions..." Usodabada waited... "And my minions..." waiting... until... "OI!! THATS YOUR CUE!!"

The camera showed Sanjirops flirting around with ladies, Zorokiller trying to find Onigiri, and Robiflower following him, picking Daisies. "OI!!"

"Forget them...AND GET OUT OF MY WAY!! I HAVE CANDY THAT NEEDS TO BE STOLEN!!" Usodabada ran into the store.

Click.

The TV turned off.

"I HAVE TO SAVE THAT CANDY STORE!!" Chopperman flew out.

"Good Chopperman..."

"SAVE SOME CHOCOLATE FOR MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Namifia fell with a sweatdrop on her forehead. "Thats not the point..."

* * *

Meanwhile at the Candy store...  
"ALL THE CANDY IS GONE?!" He sighed. "I expected more..." 

"There is one more..." Robiflower pointed to a candy bar in the display window.

"THE LAST CANDY BAR!!" Usodabada was over-excited. "I MUST HAVE IT!!"

"Can I please have it?"

"Oh sure--WHAaAaA?!?!" Usodabada turned to see, "CHOPPERMAN!!"

"HI!" Chopperman put on a cute little smile. He began reaching for the candy bar. "NO WAY WOULD I GIVE THE CANDY BAR TO YOU!! YOURE THE ENEMY!!"

"Please, i beg of you!!" Chopperman asked nicely. Robiflower whispered into Usodabadas ear. "I dont think you should trick him into losing a fight in public again... what now?"

"Dont worry, I have a plan..." Chopperman made a huge smile. "WE CAN SPLIT IT IN TWO!! THE MONEY AND THE CANDY!!"

"I have a better idea--how about you pay the whole thing, and I eat it?"

"But then how do we share?"

"Thats easy! One half is paying, another half is eating!! You pay, i eat!!" Chopperman started to cry again. "Please, Usodabada, I'm hungry, and Namifia took my potato chips away..."

"I DONT CARE!! THIS CANDY BAR IS MINE, AND MINE ONLY!! AHAAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!" He laughed loudly. "But I l-like Chocolate bars..." he kept crying.

"ITS ALL MINE, CHOPPERMAN!! YOU CANT EVEN HAVE A SINGLE CRUMB!! I HAVE NOW SUCCESSFULLY ROBBED THE CANDY STORE AND THERES NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!!"

"NOT YET!" Eh? what now?

"HISSATSU...Kyuun Spark!!" Suddenly, Robiflower began to swoon over Choppermans cuteness. Hearts were everywhere--She was affected, as was the candy seller.

"THE CUTENESS IS POWERFUL, BUT NOT POWERFUL ENOUGH FOR ME!!" Usodabada threw a punch at Chopperman. He dodged the punch. "A stupid meanie like you shouldnt have such a delicious piece of chocolate without sharing."

"SHARING?! WHAT IS THIS, KINDERGARDEN?!" Usodabada kept throwing punches, and kept missing.

Meanwhile at the counter, "One chocolate bar please."

"Here you go!" The lady at the counter handed the last piece of chocolate to--

"SANJIROPS?!?!" Usodabada and Chopperman screeched.

"Yeah, so what?" Sanjirops opened the chocolate wrapper. "Can I at least have half?"

"Nope."

"A piece?"

"No."

"A bite?"

"Nuh uh."

"A nibble?!"

"You have enough candy there to feed a city." Chopperman then had an idea. He used a baby DendenMushi to call Namifia. A moment later, LUFFYBOT came marching to Chopperman. "Yosha!! Need my help?" Chopperman flew to LUFFYBOTS robotic ear and whispered into it.

"NO! MY CANDY!!" Usodabada ran to the loaded candybag. LUFFYBOT picked it up before Usodabada got to it. He walked around, throwing candy everywhere.

"FREE CANDY FOR ALL THE GOOD LITTLE BOYS AND GIRLS OUT THERE!!"

Inside LUFFYBOT...

"Well, as long as i'm getting paid...plus, everyone is happy... and Chopperman...he's just as happy..." She smiled.

* * *

Later... 

Chopperman was running around, pretending to make the Rare Air Force-C Max model fly. Namifia was watching him, and started to laugh. "I guess there ARE other ways to make him happy without profits."

"BRRRRR!!!!!! BRRRRR!!!!! WHOOOOOOSH!!!!!! GO AIR FORCE-C MAX!!!!!!!!" Chopperman jumped around everywhere.

* * *

At Usodabadas lair... 

"BASTED CHOPPERMAN!! AND YOU, SANJIROPS!! SOME HELP YOU TURNED OUT TO BE!!"

"Ususai, bagherro...at least i wasnt out looking for onigiri."

"Be quiet." Zorokiller kept eating his onigiri.

* * *

DA END!! 

Hoped you likes it! More reviews please!

* * *


End file.
